Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish. They come up with top ten lists that people can blog about every week.
Please note when it comes to the examples this is just my opinion. Also, these are mostly books I read last year/ since I started reviewing. (Since I have a bad memory for these things)
I planned to do five of each, but I got a little carried away with the things I don’t like…
Things I like When it Comes to Romance
(All covers lead to Goodreads)
1. Banter
My favorite part of a romance is when they can banter with each other. (There’s a difference between banter and bickering too.) So many romances stop the banter when they get together, but there’s no need to. A couple can banter just as much as a budding romance.
“I never kid about my warrior demigod status.”
“Oh. My. God.” I lower my voice, having forgotten to whisper. “You are nothing but a bird with an attitude. Okay, so you have a few muscles, I’ll grant you that. But you know, a bird is nothing but a barely evolved lizard. That’s what you are.” -Angelfall
2. Slow realistic relationships
No instant love here. They get to know each other and gradually develop real feelings for each other.
“Our time together feels like a storm, like wild wind and rain, like something too big to handle but too powerful to escape. It blows around me and tangles my hair, leaves water on my face, makes me know that I am alive, alive, alive. There are moments of calm and pause as there are in every storm, and moments when our words fork lightening, at least for each other.” –Matched
3. Nice love interests
Why do so many girls go for the bad boy? What’s wrong with picking the nice guy?
“I need a book that says ‘Here’s how to defeat Spring and and while you’re at it, here’s how to prove you matter when no one else thinks you do—”
I stop. I’m staring at the bookshelves and not at Theron. He crawls up onto his knees and moves into my line of sight, his forehead wrinkled and his eyes darting over mine like he’s trying to figure me out the same way he figured out that passage. After a moment of silence, he grimaces.
“You matter,” is all he says. –Snow Like Ashes
4. Chemistry – Feeling the connection between them
Sometimes I just don’t feel it. They say they’re in love but they don’t have that spark, that chemistry between the characters. I need to feel it!
“She’s my alpha,” he murmured, with a haunting sadness in his voice.
Cress leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees, “Like the star?”
“What star?”
She stiffened, instantly embarrassed, and scooted back from him again. “Oh. Um. In a constellation, the brightest star is called the alpha. I thought maybe you meant that she’s…like…your brightest star.” Looking away, she knotted her hands in her lap, aware that she was blushing furiously now and this beast of a man was about to realize what an over-romantic sap she was.
But instead of sneering or laughing, Wolf sighed, “Yes,” he said, his gaze climbing up to the full moon that had emerged in the blue evening sky. “Exactly like that.” – Cress
5
. Friends who turn into romantic interests
I love this because it’s the ultimate slow romance. They know each other for a long time first and already care about each other before something romantic happens between them.
“What if it lines up like it did in the Trojan War … Athena versus Poseidon?”
“I don’t know. But I just know that I’ll be fighting next to you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?” – The Lightning Thief
Things I Do NOT Like When it Comes to Romance
1. Instant love
The love at first sight, I just met you but I’m in love with you love.
2. All consuming love
Once they meet their love interest that’s all they think about, all they care about. They go on and on about how much they mean to each other. It takes over the book with over the top can’t be separated from each other love.
3. Loving a Jerk / Being a Jerk to a love interest
When the guy is only mean to her, but she still loves him anyway. OR when she’s only mean to her love interest.
4. They fight all the time
(Yes I mean Hermione and Ron)
Though they might be in love or friendly enough, but they fight way too much and constantly bicker.
5. Too much happens to pull them apart
Enough already! There are too many stupid obstacles engineered just to keep these two apart. If they don’t get together soon I won’t care anymore!
6.
We miss the time they spent learning about each other.
The author glazes over it and we don’t actually get to see them falling in love. We’re just supposed to trust that they talked and now they love each other.
7. Perfect Man Syndrome
It’s obvious the author created the ideal man. This guy has no flaws.
8. The shivers went down my spine, I got hot when he touched me Romance
I can see being happy when he touches you, but this style of writing always just strikes me as over the top and usually it goes on way too long.
What do you think is the Best / Worst thing about bookish romance?
Woven Magic Books 
“You are nothing but a bird with an attitude”. Favorite scene ever lol
hehe Mine too! I love the way Penryn and Raffe banter!
Love your example of Max + Fang for “Too Much Happens to Pull Them Apart.” I admit, their being pulled apart really was painful for me because I kept wanting it to work for them since they had that grown into something more type of love between them.
Great list Molly!
haha thanks! I felt like the only reason Dylan was created was to keep them apart. It was getting silly!
Too true, I was so frustrated with his existence. I agree with you, silly is a good way to describe it.
I actually like the bickering haha. I love that you put examples in, it was great! I agree about the stupid obstacles- it can get ridiculous! 🙂
I think bickering’s fine as long as it isn’t constant. Thanks! 🙂 Yes, sometimes it gets a bit silly after a while when things keep happening so they can’t be together.
I’m with you on all counts! I hate that instant love thing. Sure I get love at first sight, but that should be a good introduction to a hopefully nice person you can get to know and truly come to love. And, yes, it’s probably based on someone’s fantasy, but it’s kind of sad if all the bad stuff is someone’s fantasy! It’s so hard to find a good organic romance in a book.
I agree, love at first sight is fine, but then they have to actually get to know one another. I think romance is one of the harder things to get right, because they’re all so different and that spark has to be there. Sometimes I just don’t feel it, that chemistry that makes them in love.
YES on all the things you do not like
haha thanks! 🙂 I’m sure I missed some, but I got a bit carried away as it is since I only planned to write five.
Absolutely yes to all of these! I couldn’t have made a better list Molly! My favorite type of romance in the friends to lovers trope, I just love it.
Thank you! This was a fun list to do. I agree, I love it when they become friends and then something more. It feels more natural that way.
Ooh! I so agree with some of these!
I absolutely hate insta-love or when we don’t really see them falling in love!! It frustrates me! D: No, I will not just trust that they just met and fell in love. That’s more like lust because you can’t LOVE at first sight, you don’t know them! You can feel LUST when you see someone, though.
I LOVE THE FRIENDS TURNED LOVERS type of thing. There are times when I think friends should REMAIN friends but other times, like with PJO, you can tell from the very beginning that they’ll be together and OH THEY’RE SO ADORABLE!!
OH MY GOSH I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE ALL CONSUMING LOVE!! GAH! They can’t think of ANYTHING other than their love interest, doesn’t spend their time anywhere other than there love interest etc. That is not healthy, at all!
Anyway, great post! 😀
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~Fari 0:) @ My Little Corner for Books
I agree, the best part of the romance is when they fall in love, why would they not want to show that or try to rush it?
I’m glad someone else likes it when they’re friends first. I agree, not all friendships should become romances, but there are some that are just so GREAT! It makes it feel more real. Percabeth is one of my favorite couples!
I know, it’s so boring to just hear about how much they love someone and yes the obsessive love isn’t good love.
Thanks! I always follow back. 🙂 Nice of you to stop by.
I don’t like instant love, love triangles or mean love interests when there is that super nice guy she keeps turning down! Come on, don’t nice guys count for anything at all? If it were me, I’d choose someone who is kind over cute and all that, but that’s me :). Oh and I’m a sap for a good love story! ^_^ any super great ones I need to read?
I completely agree! I’d so pick thee nice guy too! I think that’s why I usually don’t like even well written love triangles because she never picks the nice guy! I mostly read fantasy with romance in them, but the Mortal Instruments are more romance than I usually read. (But you’ve probably already heard of them.) Other than that I’m drawing I blank, I think I already mentioned most of them in this post.
I like the hate to love relationships better because all to often with the friend to lover it turns into instalove, ironically. With the hate to love you actually get to see the entire relationship build and I really like that. A lot.
SHIVERRRS the tingles the sparks the explosion the whispering whispers. Okay. I’m done.
I didn’t think of the hate to love relationships! That’s a good one! Yeah, not all friendships should become romances and it still has to progress slowly from friend to romance. (Not picky or anything, am I?)
I don’t mind a little of the sparks when they touch thing, but it seems easy to overdo.
Love some good banter! And I totally agree with your #8. I hate when so much time is spent with the internal monologue of swooning.
Banter is the best! I don’t know why more authors don’t do it. Maybe because it’s hard to pull off? Ugh yes, it’s so annoying when all they do is think about a guy and it gets boring and repetitive really quick.
I think it’s just really hard to pull off and to make it seem realistic at the same time. It’s really easy for the banter to turn into sounding scripted, so when you find good banter it’s amazing and I need to not be around people when I read it. I agree with the cliche descriptions though, like I’ve met one person with a half smile, and it’s a girl. I mean things like that aren’t really how guys are. I feel like authors could find some other way to describe these things.
Very good list, and I love that you have lots of examples of each! And I agree, nothing hotter than the nice guy, the bad boy can take a hike 🙂
Thanks! I agree, why doesn’t the nice guy get the girl? So often the ‘bad boy’ is just a jerk!
I like everything you like and dislike everything you dislike about bookish romances, Molly! 🙂 I also like it when I can’t help but fall for one of the male love interests. It doesn’t happen often; I can only count a couple “book boyfriends,” but when it happens it’s evidence that the author did a great job developing that character.
I’m happy to find someone who agrees with me. Based on your description of your book’s romance I had that feeling. I rarely have a book boyfriend too, but there are a couple of times where I just really fall for the guy.
Thanks for providing examples! I am on board for all your likes definitely! Looks like I definitely need to read Angelfall – this is the second time this week that books has come to my attention for a good reason:)! I also agree with all your dislikes though I might quibble with a couple of your examples – not too strongly though!
It was hard remembering enough books for examples. I’m glad you liked them. Angelfall is good and it has some of the best banter! Yeah, I had a feeling not all of my examples would be everyone’s opinion. I have no problem with that. I know I’m sometimes an oddball. (sometimes?) I’m guessing your quibble was Harry Potter.
I can imagine it was hard coming up with examples for each! I am in awe!
And actually I agree with your HP assessment. The two I slightly quibble with are Sabriel – I really like how her and Touchstone get together though I did totally get your point at the same time. And the Grisha series. I really like Mal though he is a serious jerk in book 2 in the series but he gets his issues under control/grows up in book 3 and he and Alina end up being pretty great together after all the angst:). But again your point is well taken. So not really disagreeing with you just slightly more forgiving of those two in particular I guess.
I think your list pretty much sums up my own opinion about romance in books… I’m not a fan, but if romance is done the right way I can tolerate and sometimes even enjoy reading it. 🙂
I used to not like romance at all in books, but I’ve found that if it’s done well and stays in the background it can add to a book. (Especially when banter is involved!)
I can totally agree with that! I don’t like romance in general, but there are exceptions where it can add to the story. (Like the Beautiful Creatures novel I just finished). Banter is always a great way of keeping romance entertaining as well. 😉
I loved that passage from Angelfall! I can’t believe I still haven’t read it. I have to concur with your likes/dislikes. The only thing I’d add to the dislikes is love triangles.
There are just so many funny quotes from Angelfall, their banter is thee best! I hope you like it when you read it. At least you won’t have to wait two years between books like some people did. (not me) I considered putting love triangles on there, but since the part I don’t like is when one girl leads two guys on I decided that someone being a jerk to a love interest covers it. I should have listed it as an example though.
Oh yes that’s a good answer but man what a difficult question! I don’t think where to start it… complicated.
It was a hard question, but a fun one to answer. I agree, when romances get to complicated it just gets annoying.
I love banter between characters. That’s one reason I love The Infernal Devices so much. It’s humorous, there is sarcasm, and it actually manages to make me laugh (which books don’t do often. Maybe just smiling and internally giggling XD)
Insta love sucks. Chemistry is good. Th perfect guy…way too much in most books I’ve read. I agree with everything here XD Woah, a psychic connection, huh?
I had to check, I somehow didn’t put Infernal Devices under banter. I giggled too! There’s nothing wrong with that. (Unless you’re getting weird looks in public)
I don’t know why so many authors have instant love, usually with the perfect man. haha I’m glad to find someone who feels the same way I do. 🙂
I laughed at that first quote- I definitely need to read Angelfall!
I’m glad. Yes, yes you do. There are plenty of laughable moments. 🙂
You have created a great list with many good points. My favorite is about the ideal man. That really annoys me in romances. In my opinion it creates too high expectations in the readers as to what their own relationship will be like. Disappointment is in their way (I have faith in humanity sometimes).
Thank you! Yeah the perfect man is just boring. I’d rather flawed and realistic too. haha yeah definitely. Besides banter is fun!
I’m a complete sucker for romance in books….and banter is the be all and end all! But chemistry is also necessary. I looooove the Wolf/Scarlet relationship, it’s pretty adorable. I’m also a big fan of slow-burns; if you’re looking for a good one, the best I’ve read recently was in The Others series by Anne Bishop.
I used to not like romance in books, but now (as long as it doesn’t take over the story) I love it! Oh yes banter is a must, but I also like to feel the relationship, the chemistry. I love every one of the relationships in the Cinder books! I just bought the first book of the Others, so that was good timing. Thanks for the recommendation! 🙂
Banter is fun… but it’s hard to do well, I think.
Insta-love made most people’s lists… and I didn’t see it once on anybody’s “likes”! So why is it in so many books?
Banter is the best! I don’t know why it isn’t used more often unless it’s hard to do.
I think Instant love is on every list today. Really tells you something huh? The only reason I can think of that authors use it is they’re lazy. Or they like the whole Disney love at first sight thing.
Yes to banter! And I love nice love interests. I mean, why would you want to be with someone who isn’t nice!? And the obstacles one is SO annoying. Yeah, one or two I can live with, but if that is basically the whole romance? Pass. And seriously why does the glazing-over thing happen? Isn’t that kind of the whole point of including the romance? That one bugs me so much! Love your list, I agree with these!
Banter is my favorite! I agree, I don’t understand why she’d want to be with a jerk. Yes, obstacles can get a bit ridiculous. Maximum Ride was about the worst I’ve ever read for that, it was obvious that’s what the author was doing. Just creating obstacles to keep them apart.
I know! The best part of the relationship is the getting to know each other stage! Why would someone want to skip over that?! hehe Thank you! 🙂 I’m glad we agree.
Great list! I love to see love build slowly and when it builds out of friendship it seems very believable. I am not a fan of instalove because it doesn’t seem realistic to me. I also don’t like when the love interest is too perfect in every way. That seems fake and makes the whole romance ring false to me. Thanks for sharing your list!
Thank you! I think the best part of the romance is when they slowly get to know each other and friendship turns into something more. I don’t like instant love either, it seems more physical attraction than love. The perfect love interest is just boring, real life is messy and unpredictable and much more fun. 🙂
Yessss, Princess of Thorns has great banter and bicker. And Angelfall, of course. Seriously, Raffe and Penryn’s banter may be my favorite ever. JEM JEM JEM!!! Oh, I’m notorious for loving the bad boys but in that series, Jem was my favorite. I mean, how can you NOT love him? 🙂
I don’t mind all-consuming love, so long as there are clearly other things going on in the story. I love the rest of your dislikes and hate them too!
Thanks for stopping by The Fox’s Hideaway! 🙂
I agree Raffe and Penryn’s banter is the best! hehe I’m glad someone else likes Jem too. I have a thing for bad boys too! Well as long as they aren’t jerks. Does that make sense?
Thanks for stopping by! *Have a cookie* 🙂
I needed some time and coffee to come back to this post 🙂 It’s been a hell-ov-a few weeks, so my apologies 🙂 You picked my number one love – banter! I know you like fantasy more than uf, but have you read the Kate Daniels series? Two alpha types, slow romance and loads of banter. Takes a few books to get into the series though. It’s pure uf. And my hates are all your hates. I should just copy and paste everything you said! At this point in my writing, I’m thinking of moving away from YA. I think I can be more free with my romance style. I was thinkiing the other day..which YA romances do I love and which adult ones do I love? And most YA has that angst, all consuming ( and most times insta-love) that I roll my eyes at. Anywho back to you…I think we love a lot of the same things. I can see will shall both enjoy the romance in each of our books! Can’t wait!
This is a very insightful and helpful list of likes and dislikes. Thank you for pointing these things out so clearly. I agree with every one of them. I especially like banter and the process of discovering the depths of another person.