Sample Chapter of Woven Magic

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It’s my birthday and the best present you could give me is reading and critiquing my story.

What’s it about? Here’s my latest summery.

Ten years ago two worlds merged, but when they split apart the Earth left several human cities behind in the world of the Kuth.

Everyone knows Altera is strange, her hair is never the same color you saw it last, but they don’t realize how special she is. Altera can see magic, enabling her to weave threads of magic together without the ceremony magic usually requires.

On a visit to a local Kuth village, Altera aids a healer who claims she’s a legendary Madj. The healer contacts her relative Jyk, to help Altera. Jyk is also a Madj, but he isn’t a teacher, he’s a regional, someone who travels across the land aiding countries with magical problems. Jyk has never had an apprentice before and doesn’t plan to start now, but after meeting Altera, he begins to change his mind.

Sound good? Read it here https://mollymortensen.wordpress.com/sample-chapter/

I’d like to know what you think and feel free to be harsh, I can handle it and I need to hear it. I’d rather honest criticism over false flattery any day. Thank you for stopping by.

~Molly

How to fix a bumpy story and make it flow

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My second chapter was terrible! I wanted to show time passing, and cover a few events along the way, but it wound up a bunch of disjointed scenes jumping for one place to the next. It’s a balancing act, showing enough for world building, but without boring readers with unnecessary travel. (Unfortunately I’m a klutz and that’s how this chapter came off, clumsy.)

After working on it for a week (yes, an entire week for one 5000 word chapter) I’ve ironed it out quite a bit. It now reads more like a chapter instead of a bunch of scenes haphazardly stuck together.

Here’s how I did it.

~CUT SCENES~

First cut out any scenes that aren’t necessary. I keep asking myself, okay I like this scene, but how important is it? I keep everything I cut just in case, but some things have to go.

~REARRANGE & COMBINE~

The next step is rearranging and combining scenes. Which scenes can be changed to go together? If I move this scene from down here, I can add it to this one up here, and ta-da no more jumpy scenes, but one longer one.

~SMOOTH TRANSITIONS~

Finally smoothing out the last of the bumps and making sure the transitions are clear. When there a change in time, location, or character it has to be obvious to the readers.

I added parts to make it continuous instead of lots of little scenes and some lines of narration could be told by the characters instead. (Wallah! (not sure how to spell that) Instant showing instead of telling.)

I have to keep telling myself, ‘this story isn’t set in stone, I can change it.’ Just because I wrote it this way the first time doesn’t mean that’s the best way to tell my story.

Curious what I did? Click on the image above for an example. 🙂 (Note: I’m still not happy with this chapter, but it’s certainly better than it was.)

What do you think the best method is for showing time passing?

Woven Magic ~ Writing Update

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It’s amazing how different my book is from when it started. Out of 108,000 words only 38,000 words are still the same as my rough draft! (That’s a lot of rewriting!)

I saved every version of my book, including my rough draft. It was worth it, not just to compare them, but because it’s hilarious reading it now. They say rough drafts are meant to be crap, yup mine was.

I still have a three page to-do list, but (I think) I’m finally done with major rewrites. (I like to-do lists, it makes me feel like I’ve really accomplished something when I get to check it off.)

From what I’ve read it takes everyone a different length of time to write their first novel, from a few months to a few years. My goal was to get mine done in a year, but that’s not going to happen. (Since that would be next month.) So, I’m shooting for the date I finished writing, the end of July. I want it to be as good as I can make it, but I know I have to eventually stop editing.

How long did it take you to write and edit your first novel?

Writing Internal Conflict

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(Yes, I made this beautiful picture myself.)

Something was missing from my book, but I couldn’t figure out what. After reading my story for the umpteenth time, I realized my mistake. I forgot to show the internal struggle going on inside her head. A character can be complex and likable, but if the readers aren’t inside her head, they’ll feel like the book is lacking something. (Which is what I was feeling.) I had to go through my entire story again and rewrite a lot of her internal dialogue. (Just what I needed, another rewrite…)

I know things are going to go wrong for my main character, so I started her out happy. That isn’t realistic though, everyone is unhappy about something. It’s important to show what makes the main character unhappy in the beginning of the book, whether it’s loneliness, feeling stuck in responsibilities, or whatever.

I wanted my heroes to come off as brave, but I realized that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have any fears or worries. Overcoming your fears is braver than not having any, that’s just stupidity. (Which is how my character was coming off…) So I had her put on a brave face, but added her worrying if she’d made the right choice. ‘I could die. What have I gotten myself into?’ This also raises the stakes when the character realizes how dangerous things are.

My main character had changed after all of her experiences, which is why I was having trouble with a scene towards the end. I still had her acting like the character she was at the beginning. I had to realize that something that would be out of character for her at the start would totally be something she’d do after a year with my other main character. (He’s a bit of a bad influence.)

What does your character unhappy about? Do you fix it for them or just give them more problems?

My character is lonely and wants to have friends and fit in. I don’t make it easy for her, (my poor little characters.) but I do give her a couple of friends. She’s a stronger person than when she started her journey, but she doesn’t fully accept herself yet. (She is only twelve.)

Breaking the rules of writing

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For every rule, there is a reason to break it. Granted, breaking the rules takes more work, because the writer has to do everything right. Here are times where famous authors broke the rules and why it worked for them.

(Sure glad I wrote this ahead of time for once. I spent the last two days without a computer, because it decided to throw a tantrum. I barely survived!)

Don’t have a Prologue

JK Rowling starts with a prologue, even if it’s called chapter one. It works because it’s the hook. Can you imagine Harry Potter without chapter one? The reader wouldn’t know anything about the magical world, or that Harry is special. It would just start with Harry’s miserable life with his Aunt and Uncle. We keep reading, because we want to find out how Harry’s life will change, because we know it will.

 Don’t describe your character in a mirror

Veronica Roth described her character in a mirror in Divergent, but it worked for her because of why she did it. Beatrice has rarely seen herself in a mirror, so she would be interested in what she looks like. It also shows what the world is like and is an opportunity to show character growth the next time Beatrice sees her reflection. (I’m trying not to spoil the story.)

Don’t use flashbacks

Suzanne Collins uses flashbacks effectively in the Hunger Games. This is because the reader always knows when we’re in a flashback and it’s something the character is thinking about. She doesn’t tell us about what happened, but takes us back to the scene and shows us. The flashbacks are important to the story to show how the characters met. Her story wouldn’t be nearly as powerful if we didn’t feel what it was like for Katniss in the past.

Don’t break the fourth wall (make your characters know the reader is reading a book)

Rick Riordan does this in Percy Jackson. It’s his way of showing voice and introducing comedy. It doesn’t take you out of the story and is easily ignorable, because he doesn’t do it often. It also lets him just say, “I’m Percy Jackson, 12 year old half-blood”. (Well not exactly, but close enough.)

I debated mentioning how Stephenie Meyer uses verbs other than said and adverbs to modify said, but since I’ve never read Twilight, (too much romance for me) I don’t know why it worked for her.

Some authors get away with things others can’t pull off. They are rules for a reason, so before breaking them, ask yourself why you’re breaking the rules.

I’m on a young adult reading kick, hence the examples. 😉

Do you break any of the rules?

I’m on the verge of breaking a few. At the beginning, my character gets knocked out a couple of times, but it’s for story development, (overuse of magic) not to transport her someplace different mysteriously.

15 Writing Rules (Guidelines)

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There are many rules to writing, but some I consider more like guidelines. (Like pirate rules) I’ve been working on this list of guidelines for a while now. I combined several other people’s lists and added a few of my own. (Elmore Leonard’s 10 Rules of Writing, and 10 Storytelling Clichés to Stop Using are two of the most popular lists out there.)

1. Prologues, flashbacks, and dreams (oh my!)

Prologues, flashbacks, and dreams distract from the story. They can be confusing and boring, so unless they’re relevant to the story, skip them. Prologues– When a reader picks up our book, we want to hook them, not make them wonder what the prologue has to do with anything. Flashbacks– When using flashbacks, the reader has to know when a flashback is taking place, and when it is. As writers, we know everything about our characters, but the reader doesn’t have to know everything we do. Dreams– The dream scare has been overused in popular media, so no one is falling for it. To show a character’s fears it’s better to go with a real life example than a dream.

2. Take your reader out of the story 

Said is ingrained in readers, we ignore it, so every time an author uses a word instead of said, (or asked), or uses a adverb to modify said it makes the reader realize they’re reading. Another example is having your characters break the fourth wall (they know they’re in a book).

3. Broadcasting an upcoming plot twist

If something dramatic is going to happen, don’t warn the readers ahead of time, then it isn’t a surprise anymore. (Words like suddenly actually have the opposite effect.) Giving your heroes a deadline is a good way to add tension, but everyone knows that somehow the hero isn’t going to save the day until the last possible second.

4. Regional dialect and accents 

Regional dialect or accents sound like a good idea to add flavor to a story, but if the reader doesn’t understand what the character is saying, or has to figure it out, then it doesn’t read smoothly.

5. Overly detailed descriptions of characters, places, and things 

As writers, we want to describe everything in absolute detail, so the reader feels like they are there and can picture our characters, but as a reader I usually zone out during long descriptions, they’re boring. Give enough details, but let the reader fill in the blanks themselves.

6. Cut out or summarize the boring parts (traveling and everyday activities)

The reader doesn’t have to know every time your character eats, sleeps, or changes clothes. It’s even more important for the beginning. Don’t open with the weather or getting dressed. Catch the reader in the first sentence. (It’s called a hook for a reason.)

7. Inside jokes and references 

If your readers have to watch a certain movie or read another book to get all the inside jokes, then they don’t work. Limit these to one or two per book and have them subtle, so those who don’t get it don’t know they’re missing anything.

8. The chosen one

The hero foretold by prophecy to save the world is a cool storyline, but the problem is it’s been done, and done. If a hero saves the world because they were always supposed to, then their achievement doesn’t mean as much and it isn’t as suspenseful. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with prophecy, but it has to be done well.

9. Love at first sight 

Disney has ruined love at first sight. Now readers want to understand why these characters are in love beyond the initial attraction. We want to know why they love each other and watch their relationship develop.

10. Bad guy had a tough life 

Writers want to show how the bad guy became evil, but a rough life isn’t reason enough. It might be a contributing factor, but we have to show their motivation too. Why are they doing what they are?

11. Stereotyping 

Diversity in books is sometimes hard, but in fantasy, the native helper or noble savage is getting old. If an author wants to show more races, they need to be added more creatively than that. It’s the same when creating another race, there’s no reason to describe them exactly like the Chinese, but call them something else. (Some authors do this for animals too, describe a dog, but call it a plat or whatever.)

12. Unrealistic injuries

Humans are surprisingly frail creatures. If your character is a normal human, they need to have all the strengths and weaknesses of a human. They can’t survive multiple gunshots and sword stabs. Knocking a character unconscious is a good way to get them somewhere else mysteriously, but they’d probably need a hospital for the concussion.

13. Best friend saves the day

The hero needs to be the hero in the end. They can’t be saved by someone else. (Unless it is obvious your narrator isn’t the hero, like Sherlock’s Watson.)

14. One dimensional characters

The good guy is always nice, always happy, and the bad guy is always mean. The woman warrior is always touch and not at all girly. Cut out people feel like characters not people. Real people are complicated and messy with depth and conflicting emotions. These cut out people only represent one side of a person, but we all have more than one face.

15. Static characters

Just like characters have to be complex, they should change after they go through an experience. (Not always for the better) A happy go lucky joking goofball wouldn’t still be all happy if one of his parents dies tragically. We are changed by our experiences and the people we meet. Little kids grow up and mature. Characters need to grow too.

I call them guidelines for a reason, and next week I’ll show examples of when it’s okay to break the rules. I tried to include all that I could think of. Please let me know if you can think of something important that I missed.

What do you think is the most important rule not to break?

Mine would have to be flat characters. The characters make the story and if I don’t care about them, then I don’t care about what happens to them.

 

 

 

Chapter Titles ~ Teasers, but not spoilers.

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This week’s topic is brought to you by Doctor Who, proving that you can find inspiration anywhere you look.

(In the future River Song will write a book, but the Doctor and company can’t read ahead, because if you know something is going to happen in the future, you insure that it will.)

Amy Pond: “But if River’s going to write that book she’d make it useful, yeah?”

River Song: “Well I’ll certainly try. But we can’t read ahead, it’s too dangerous.”

Amy Pond: “I know, but there must be something we can look at.”

The Doctor: “What, a page of handy hints? Previews, spoiler-free.”

Amy Pond: “Chapter titles.”

So many books right now only number the chapters, but I find that rather boring, so I’ve been naming mine. Right now, the titles are only to help me navigate my novel, but I’m trying to make them more into teasers for the chapter. (The way TV show writers do for episode titles.)

I don’t want to spoil anything with my chapter titles, because that’s often the first thing I read when I pick up a book. It’s not easy coming up with sixty clever phrases, (fun though) and if I do my job right, just reading the chapters will make people want to read my book. (At least that’s what I’m hoping.)

Chapter titles are also a good opportunity to show the voice of a novel. Is the book humorous? This is a good place to show that off.

My first chapter is called Born of two worlds. (One down, fifty-nine more to name.)

Do you name your chapters or just use numbers? Which do you prefer while reading?

A Guide to the Plot Structure of a Novel (With examples from Harry Potter and The Hunger Games)

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What do you mean I need a plot outline? But, my brain doesn’t work that way!

A successful plot has certain elements throughout the novel as the protagonist battles the antagonist and it is easier to plan where these are going as you write. (Learn from my mistakes.)

When I started writing, I just sat down and wrote, but now I have to go back and “fix” my plot. It would have been so much easier if I had a clue where things were going the first time through. That’s what I’ve been doing these last two weeks, rearranging and rewriting my plot. (I’ve been so consumed with my writing that I forgot about everything else, like this blog… Sorry about that.)

A couple of months ago I wrote a blog post about why to plot, but I didn’t write how to plot, because I hadn’t figured it out yet. Now that I have, I’m sharing what I’ve learned. (Aren’t you lucky? I hope this helps.)

A good method for plotting the structure of a story is Larry Brook’s. (His website is here.)

A story can be broken down into four parts and three plot points (and two reminders of the bad guy). All of which are necessary for a good plot.

Each part makes up about 25% of the story. (Part one and four can be shorter, about 20%, making parts two and three 30% each.)

Part one– Introduction and set up of characters, setting, and world. What is everyday life like? This is where the stakes are established and the reader is made to care about the characters. The character’s motivations are clear. What do they want?

Plot point one– The turning point. Something monumental happens, something that changes the main character’s life forever. It does not have to do with the antagonist. This is just the point of no return. In my novel, my main character becomes an apprentice in magic.

Part two– Trying to achieve their goal, reacting to what just happened. (There needs to be a hint of the bad guy to remind readers that he’s out there about halfway through this part.)

Plot Point Two– Another twist, something is revealed. (See examples of this from Harry Potter and The Hunger Games below.)

Part three– The hero investigates and fights back. He or she has learned from their experiences, making them stronger and smarter. (Again, there needs to be a hint of the bad guy about halfway through.)

Plot Point Three– The last revelation, there’s no new information, or characters after this point.

Part four– Fighting the bad guy, time to kick butt! Followed by the resolution, where everyone lives happily ever after. (or not.)

Does your novel have all of these parts? If not, you might want to think about changing that. Believe me I know how hard it is, but it’s worth it in the end. (Plus, it’s fun. I know I’m weird, but I’ve really enjoyed it.)

Still confused? Here are examples of the plot points from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and The Hunger Games. (Warning: Spoilers ahead, though I tried not to spoil anything too big.)

Plot point 1–

Harry Potter- Harry boards the train for Hogwarts

Hunger Games- Katniss accepts Peeta as her partner

Plot point 2–

Harry Potter- Harry realizes Hagrid’s package was in the vault that was broken into at Gringotts

Hunger Games- Katniss decides to fight back (tracker jackers)

Plot point 3–

Harry Potter- Harry realizes it’s Voldemort who wants the stone

Hunger Games- Katniss finds Peeta injured

Top 10 things I’ve learned about writing this year

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Since I started writing again, I’ve really learned a lot. I could easily write a top 100 list, but I’ve edited it down to just the most important things. (Thanks to number 9.)

1. Writing is surprisingly easy, but editing SO isn’t.

2. Social networking is important and isn’t as hard as it looks.

3. I eventually have to stop editing and rewriting. (Still a goal at this point.)

4. My constant daydreaming is actually common among writers, along with some of my other idiosyncrasies. (I’m not alone! I have found my people.)

5. I have to learn to write down my whole story. I always forget to put all of the details I just know. (Sharing everything with the eventual reader is important…)

6. I cannot write in present tense and shouldn’t try, it messes everything up. There’s nothing wrong with past tense.

7. How to read as a writer. (And watch movies and TV.)

8. Just how important showing is for a story.

9. The importance of only including what is most important. (and to cut the rest.)

10. I truly enjoy writing. It makes me happier than anything else. (I wonder why I ever stopped? Stupid little voice in my head telling myself I wasn’t good enough.)

I’ve done so much this year with my writing. I can’t wait to find out what next year brings.

What have you learned this year about writing and yourself?

Made Up Holidays, and Traditons

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Merry Christmas (Or whatever holiday you celebrate) I don’t want to offend, I just prefer Merry Christmas over Happy Holidays.

Christmas, like most traditions, is strange when you break it down. We put living trees decorated in lights inside our homes and children wait for an old man wearing red to come down the chimney and put presents into stockings hanging by the fireplace.

I think that the same needs to be true of fictional holidays. They should have things that make no sense, but that everyone does without thinking about it. I like it when there’s a story behind things, so that the holiday has meaning beyond the traditional thankfulness and giving to others.

It can be hard to capture the nonsensical wonder that real holidays have, which is why authors simply rename our holidays. This makes them relatable and realistic without having to explain endless traditions. (Like Terry Pratchet’s Hogswatch, though like all his writing he takes it for a unique twist.)

Another thing to remember is the world’s fictional religions would probably have an impact on holidays. Though perhaps like Christmas, some people (me) take the parts they like and forget the religious significance.

Do you have traditions in your fictional worlds? How about fictional Holidays?

My world has a religion, but it doesn’t play a large part in my character’s everyday lives. Like a lot of things in my first book it didn’t make it into the actual novel. It’s surprising how short 100,000 words can be when I have all these things I want to put in. Same with holidays, I mention a Winterfest, but I didn’t have the chance to explain it. I figure that’s what sequels are for, those of us who can’t tell a story in one book.